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NewBook, a property management system firm for the hospitality industry, has pranked its customers on April Fools day with an “urgent update”.
Newbook customers were told the update would feature new additions such as ‘Newbook Reggie’, which will give hoteliers condescending feedback, staff surveillance via a webcam and a Solitaire game for slow periods throughout the day.
Meanwhile, modified features for the fake update included ‘Automated Bad Survey Cash Back’, where unhappy guests get automatic money and owner information sent to them for low-scoring surveys, and “in yo face”-sized large font, shrinking the amount of days visible on the systems booking chart.
The email ended by telling clients that if they didn’t want to receive these feature then they should not contact the company and “everything will be fine”.
Chris Petty, founder and director of the company, said: “PMS systems are serious and people only usually contact us if they need help so it’s good to have a laugh occasionally.
“It’s easy to take for granted the technology we have today so it’s good to poke fun at it. We got some great responses.”
Below is the email sent by Newbook:
Urgent April Release Notes
UPDATE ROLLOUT TO OCCUR TODAY 1st APRIL 2016 @ 9am – 12pm AEST
Dear Client,
We hope you had a wonderful easter and are now preparing for the upcoming ANZAC Day long weekend.
The team at NewBook need to rush out an update to keep up with some slick new features from our competition and the system will need to shut down between 9am and 12pm (GMT time) today for an urgent 1st of April release.
New Features
NewBook Reggie
Gone are the days that you travel an industry leading property management system alone. Introducing “NewBook Reggie”! Your brand new companion in NewBook. Designed to be the most prominent feature on every page in NewBook, Reggie will provide tips and condesending feedback every time you make a decision within the system. To ensure accuracy, Reggie will ask you three times to confirm “yes” before saving any page.
Solitaire
Sometimes there are slow periods throughout the day. Your staff have checked everyone in. The floors have been swept. Accounts are balanced.
Help keep the mind sharp and your staff awake with our fully integrated Solitaire Game! For every successful completion of the game, NewBook will add the results within the popular Staff Statistics Report.
NewBook Staff Surveillance
Staff safety is a big responsibility for property owners and operators. Now you can keep an eye on them from anywhere in the world! NBS gives you access to watch and admire the hard work your staff are doing through the webcam built into their computer. You will even be able to see how well they are doing at Solitaire with the screen sharing option!
To turn this feature off please use blu-tack.
EFTPOS Integration
At NewBook, we strive to stay ahead of them game when it comes to new technology. We are proud to announce that we are now the FIRST to integrate with the popular Floppy Disk Drive for credit card reading!
What does this mean? I hear you ask. If you are running a PC with an active Floppy Disk Drive and are running Windows 95 or older, you can now process your credit card payments by swiping the credit card directly into the drive.
Tweezers are recommended on standby to retrieve the credit cards.
Modified Features
Automated Bad Survey Cash Back
Keeping our guests happy is one of the most important parts of running a successful accommodation business. Now you can make your unhappy guest a happy one again without lifting a finger! For all guest survey ratings received resulting in a score of 5 or less the following will now happen automatically:
- The guest will receive a £50.00 refund through the payment gateway from your account.
- The Property Owner’s own personal phone number will be texted to the guest directly.
- Feedback left will be posted automatically to Facebook and TripAdvisor accounts.
With features like these – your guests will never be unhappy again!
This will be activated automatically tomorrow.
NewBook Extra Large Font
NewBook now has decided its more important to have a very large font than be able to see a lot of items on the screen. The regular option will be available however the “In yo face” option will be default and will make you feel like you are living inside the computer. You will only be able to see 8.5 days on the booking chart from now on.
Coming Soon
Brand new look!BETA
Due to such immense innovation seen by our competitors we have launched a new look due for imminent release within weeks. It is a completely new interface with our BETA version 0.9+ and features the style you have been used to over the last 30 years. There are already thousands of people using this beta version even though it just a screenshot from Photoshop. Amazing hey!
Word from the Director
A big thankyou to the following competitors for giving us the inspiration and great ideas included in this update.
- RSHM
- Hardez
- RV Tripover
- DidIbookit
- RUSTY2006
- FIRUM
- Glenscans
- Roofmaster
The update will take place at 9am april fools day leaving NewBook out of action for at least 3 hours. If you do not wish to receive these new features please do not contact us and everything will be fine.
